This Attachment Style Could Be Ruining Your Relationships

If you’ve ever wondered “Why do I keep choosing the wrong people?” or why some relationships feel so hot and cold, this series is for you. We’re breaking down attachment styles, including why anxious and avoidant partners often attract each other and why that push-pull dynamic can feel so intense—and even addictive. We’ll also cover the four attachment styles, how childhood shapes the way we connect in relationships, and what it takes to move toward earned secure attachment. The goal is to help you understand your relationship patterns so you can start building connections that feel more stable, safe, and healthy. Question for you: Did closeness mean "I had to be perfect to get attention?" or did closeness mean "I had to manage my parent's emotions?" Timestamps 0:00 - How relationships change you and what attachment really means 1:01 - Everyday examples of attachment in action 1:44 - Core childhood questions shaping attachment 2:35 - Effects of inconsistent caregiving 3:17 - Nervous system check-in scenario: Test your attachment style 5:48 - Secure attachment: Characteristics and childhood roots 6:47 - Anxious attachment: Signs, worries, and origins 7:56 - Avoidant attachment: Independence, shutdowns, and adaptations 9:01 - Disorganized attachment: Push-pull conflicts and fear-based patterns 10:18 - Tips for earning secure attachment: Reflection, practice, and growth More related videos: The 4 main attachment styles: https://youtu.be/pL1NBH7LrXk?si=-fHic-p1nD2YYo2F What they don't tell you about anxious attachment: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u3RB61iGpx8 High-functioning avoidance: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=apXauV0ptRs My books: Why Do I Keep Doing This? https://geni.us/XoyLSQ Traumatized https://geni.us/Bfak0j Are u ok? https://geni.us/sva4iUY Therapy: While I don't offer online therapy, get connected with a licensed therapist through my sponsor BetterHelp: https://betterhelp.com/kati (Get 10% OFF your first month) Partnerships: Contact